Suicide Dishes

Dear Ajé:

I was doing the dishes this morning and my thoughts were spinning around in my head regarding how people don’t listen. Even when they ask a question people rarely wait for a complete response because they’ve already chosen their own response. There are times when I do feel like people are in tune with me, but it seems that when I really just need someone to hear me out all anyone wants to do is tell me their interpretation of my thoughts. I appreciate the gesture, but not letting me have my own thoughts/feelings makes me feel like my thoughts/feelings aren’t valid.

This got my mind on a roll and I started thinking about how at some point in time it is a possibility that I would kill myself. I’m not suicidal, and I’m not in any hurry to die, but if nothing else kills me first I think it’s possible that I will just get bored one day and the next realm will seem like a good journey. It got me wondering what I would say in the letter I would leave behind, to help people understand the way I think and why things will be okay. I was concerned that the religious people in my life wouldn’t get it so I tried to explore how I would explain it for them. I think if the Christian God is an omnipotent being that he would have known long before any of us existed every single step that we would take. Not so much in a way that God created our fate, but more like he was the only person who got to watch the movie of Life before it was made. Which means that all people who have committed suicide were given life even though God knew that they would end it by their own hands. And if there’s a pre-existence all of those people would have known what they would have to sacrifice in order to have this experience in an earthly body, including the sacrifice of that body itself.

These bodies are simply hosts and our energy is the parasite within.

Love,
Yourself